Claudia Engel, Watercolor (2006) |
That which should have been first cannot go unsaid: My troubles, all of them, have taken on a better tone as I have been helped to step back and look at things from an eternal perspective. As I look at all the really awful things I have done in the past, I am overwhelmed at the grace given to me to overcome the reasons I did them; and then not repeat them! At least not too many more times. It truly wasn't my abilities that brought the change. Time and time again, as I have sought help in many troubles, the way was opened for me. I experienced it. When I really goofed up, and asked, the way was made right again. I didn't deserve it even if I never admitted it to those around me. The goodness that has surrounded me even when I wasn't looking, and unaware, is now very evident at this last part of my life. Now when many others start to wind down, I am going faster and further and stronger than ever. And I know why. I owe it to acknowledge the power and love that is the bedrock source of who I have become. I am full of joy knowing how everything has worked together and makes such amazing sense. I don't know what all the reasons for my life are yet. But I know Who is orchestrating the whole thing. It is more and more evident in every day that goes by me. I love, really love to paint light and color. I have been brought out of the kingdom of darkness into a marvelous light. I love to paint the light. Leonardo Da Vinci said, "May I learn to please the Lord who made the light." I say so too. It is not an idea, not an excuse. . . I've found a very real person, the author of all the light that I find we paint and are so in love with. The author of Light and the Savior from the realm of darkness, Jesus the Christ is my friend,...my everything. He's done it all. Selah My epitaph shall someday read,
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